Holey Moley is Making This Incredible Offer Because Holey Moley Can’t NOT Make This Incredible Offer!
That’s right. An Act Of God has forced Holey Moley to liquidate all in-stock and slightly damaged merchandise, leaving you with presidential savings! Time’s running out, so sell the farm and make that commitment for five hours a day; it’s all the time you’ll need to get that body in shape for the Holey Moley Traveling Circus And Afterlife Dinner Show! Aren’t you tired of the rat-race and dead-end job? Did you always want a car, a house, a boat and more cars, houses and boats? Get on the phone now and fill out the convenient tear-a-way response card. Mail us your check and money order with your credit card and wait paitently by the mailbox until your teeth fall out! It’s the only guaranteed way to lose weight while you eat all the fatty foods you love! PLUS, Holey Moley will include FREE. That’s right, FREE! No more worrying about how much true spiritual happiness will cost. It’s a snap with FREE! Just plug in the FREE you get, watch the savings begin and the family buys breakfast!